Today marks our wedding anniversary of 11 years! I don't know why, but I feel as if every year passes on by faster & faster.
Wow, 11 years.
No one says how marriage is going to be after year 10. Personally, I have to say that year 10 was the year of transformation. And now we're moving into a new year together, I'm so excited to see what else the Lord will invite us to. I don't want you to read my blog & assume I have a perfect husband or marriage. Because I don't. We've had numerous arguments & fights. We've walked away from each other countless times and we've let out some of the cruelest words from our lips. But God redeemed our marriage when Roger & I stopped trying to control our marriage & one another.
At the end of 2015, Roger & I felt the Lord lead us into a 40 day fast. I cannot say, how faithful God is when you sacrifice yourself daily to find His face. In those 40 days we relied on fruits & vegetables and most importantly, we relied on the Lord to sustain us. Every day, each of us sought Him out and every day we would share what God had revealed to us. Not only was this a way for us to grow closer to the Lord, but little did we know, we started to grow closer together as well. It's been over a month since we've ended our fast. But we still have our daily conversations of what the Lord is doing in our lives daily. Whether big or small, He speaks to us and its important to digest the Lord's work with the very person you do life with. It not only builds you up, but it builds up your spouse as well.
A few years ago, I learned something that changed my marriage for the good. After year 5, I certainly thought 'Is this really it? Does marriage not ever improve?' Later that year, we were involved in assisting with our church's first marriage conference & we invited a gifted couple to come and share their insights on marriage. The wife stood before a room of women as the men were in their own workshop, and taught us about this beautiful diagram.
In that year, I gave up trying to pull Roger alongside with me. I learned that I could not build up his faith with my bare hands. The Lord had taught me to entrust my marriage to Him & just focus on my personal relationship with Jesus. And it took up to a few months to a year to really see how this diagram became truly evident in our marriage. As I was seeking Jesus and moving towards Him, the Lord was tugging on Roger's heart as well. And this happened without me trying to do anything but respectively loving & submitting to him as I am called to.
The more I learned to love Jesus, the more I learned to love Roger. And the more the Lord tugged on his heart, the more he learned to love me through his relationship with Jesus as well. There's no doubt that this is the heart of God for marriage. To truly have a Christ centered marriage is to walk hand-in-hand with each other towards The Cross. In Roger, God has given me a husband, lover, and best friend. Everything I could ever hope for in my companion.
As we journey on into a new year of marriage, I know that there will only be more situations that test's our marriage. But through those trials, I believe that God will only continue to use them to strengthen us. To pull us individually closer to Him yet even closer to each other as well. you see, we're learning that marriage isn't just another 'thing' that God created. But that marriage is actually a lot more personal to Him. Why? Because through marriage, we get to experience eternity. He's refining us as individuals within our marriage to learn to love one another unconditionally. A love that only He knows how to give. In marriage, we get to receive the opportunity to reflect the image of God. We also get to tap into that same love that Jesus has for us, the Church.
"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body."
I know that in every marriage, its different for everyone. My prayer is that you'll never give up on one another. That you may know that when you surrender your marriage to Jesus, He will carry you towards your spouse. All you need to do is fall in love with Him. Go back to your first love who is Jesus Christ himself. I guarantee that His love will overflow through you without you having to 'try' to do anything. God's love for you
spill over into every other area in your life. Blessings to you as you continue to remain faithful and obedient in your marriage.
How many years have you been married for?
What year are you celebrating this year?
What are some things that you've learned in your own marriage?