The enemy came to steal, to kill, and to destroy. And even though the enemy meant all of this for evil, God turns it into a beautiful story of redemption. He has used this season of infertility to teach me a few things that reveals His Beauty in the barrenness.
1. Spiritual Empathy
I found out that I was not the only one that was facing this storm. He's sewn the hearts of women of similar journeys with my heart as well. It's as if He gave me empathetic lenses to see the pain & hurting women who surround me in my community. And He gives me compassion for them. He inspires me to step outside of my comfort zone to bring light of these hard topics with the struggling women of this generation. I no longer isolate myself from everyone, but choose to be used by God to be an extension of His love & encouragement towards other women whom feel cast out into the shadows of the very fertile women.
2. Let HOPE Anchor You.
I started off my journey getting sucked into all the things that I could "try" to conceive. But all I experienced was a constant disappointment. I quickly learned that I was just setting myself up for failure when I let my own doing anchor me rather than my Almighty Father. I do not know yet how my future will look like, but I choose to set my eyes on the only source of hope that I know of and that is Jesus Christ. And I can honestly say that when His hope anchors me, I'm given a peace that surpasses all understanding & it also reminds me that He will calm the storm I'm in. God doesn't promise that life will be easy, but that He will walk every second of it with us.
3. Infertility is a Gift.
I've learned to look to my faith sisters from the Bible that also shared the same sufferings as I did for encouragement. And what God shows me every time, is His faithfulness. He not only blessed each woman in the Bible with a miracle baby, but He did it in His perfect timing & according to His will. All so that each of these women would be a blessing. He used their children to do great things. None of their children were average. God put His blessing upon each child that was born through infertility. And He made sure each child was linked to the lineage of our Lord, Jesus Christ. This shows that His thoughts are greater than our thoughts. His plans are greater than our plans. He makes everything beautiful in His time.
4. Jesus is my Great Physician.
I could look to doctors & specialists, but even they can fail me as well. I've had doctors that have flat out told me they don't know why I can't have kids. This has been nothing but a disappointment. But glory to God for I've received healing in a way that not many can understand. His grace stitches up the cracks in my heart and His love revives me of my loneliness. There is no one else that can heal me as my Lord can. In the eyes of men, it may seem like a hopeless & absurd thing to do. But He has not failed me yet. Therefore, I will continue to trust in my Healer.
5. PCOS Does Not Define Me.
If you know me, you know that I don't let this disease cripple me. It is only a small portion of the story that God is playing out for my life but it has no authority over me. My worth & purpose comes from Jesus. I live in the promises that God says that are true about me. No longer do I beat myself up emotionally about my imperfections, but I let Christ & the blood He shed for me, cleanse me as white as snow. Daily, I am learning to surrender my doubts, questions, & fears to Him. And He never forgets to remind me that I am a child of God. I am a daughter of the Most High King. I am defined in who He says I am and not the labels that this world places on me.
How do you feel about infertility?
Has God given you insight on any storm in your life?
Please share. I'd love to hear how He encourages you as well.