A Surprise Anniversary Adventure

2 weeks ago we were asked to reserve Saturday the 27th of February for a special day. We weren't sure what was in store for us but were excited nonetheless! We love adventures! We kept trying to put all the puzzle pieces together to find out what the plans were but we were refrained from doing so. Therefore, we patiently waited for the day to arrive & then we got ready & set off for our destination! We were instructed to find our way to a beautiful place nearby called Gales Creek. We drove off with nothing but warm clothes and a few camping chairs, anxious to see what we would be arriving to. Scroll down to see pictures from our adventure! I even documented bits and pieces from this beautiful day.

Huge thanks to a couple that we look up to & are so blessed to have in our lives. They truly model a Godly marriage & encourage us to constantly keep Christ at the center of ours as well. They challenge us & build us up in more ways than one. We're forever grateful for your love, sacrifice, hard work, & dedication to being intentional Christ followers. And being such great role models to us. We know it was not easy to pull off something like this, but we are thankful for this day that you both worked so hard to coordinate & plan just for the two of us. Thanks for investing in us! God Bless you both for all that you do for us & all the couples that God has entrusted in your care. We know that God is doing something great through you both! We're just so blessed we get to be a part of it as well! We love you guys!

11 Years Today

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Pinterest

Today marks our wedding anniversary of 11 years! I don't know why, but I feel as if every year passes on by faster & faster. 

Wow, 11 years. 

No one says how marriage is going to be after year 10. Personally, I have to say that year 10 was the year of transformation. And now we're moving into a new year together, I'm so excited to see what else the Lord will invite us to. I don't want you to read my blog & assume I have a perfect husband or marriage. Because I don't. We've had numerous arguments & fights. We've walked away from each other countless times and we've let out some of the cruelest words from our lips. But God redeemed our marriage when Roger & I stopped trying to control our marriage & one another. 

At the end of 2015, Roger & I felt the Lord lead us into a 40 day fast. I cannot say, how faithful God is when you sacrifice yourself daily to find His face. In those 40 days we relied on fruits & vegetables and most importantly, we relied on the Lord to sustain us. Every day, each of us sought Him out and every day we would share what God had revealed to us. Not only was this a way for us to grow closer to the Lord, but little did we know, we started to grow closer together as well. It's been over a month since we've ended our fast. But we still have our daily conversations of what the Lord is doing in our lives daily. Whether big or small, He speaks to us and its important to digest the Lord's work with the very person you do life with. It not only builds you up, but it builds up your spouse as well.

A few years ago, I learned something that changed my marriage for the good. After year 5, I certainly thought 'Is this really it? Does marriage not ever improve?' Later that year, we were involved in assisting with our church's first marriage conference & we invited a gifted couple to come and share their insights on marriage. The wife stood before a room of women as the men were in their own workshop, and taught us about this beautiful diagram. 

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Pinterest

In that year, I gave up trying to pull Roger alongside with me. I learned that I could not build up his faith with my bare hands. The Lord had taught me to entrust my marriage to Him & just focus on my personal relationship with Jesus. And it took up to a few months to a year to really see how this diagram became truly evident in our marriage. As I was seeking Jesus and moving towards Him, the Lord was tugging on Roger's heart as well. And this happened without me trying to do anything but respectively loving & submitting to him as I am called to. 

The more I learned to love Jesus, the more I learned to love Roger. And the more the Lord tugged on his heart, the more he learned to love me through his relationship with Jesus as well. There's no doubt that this is the heart of God for marriage. To truly have a Christ centered marriage is to walk hand-in-hand with each other towards The Cross. In Roger, God has given me a husband, lover, and best friend. Everything I could ever hope for in my companion. 

As we journey on into a new year of marriage, I know that there will only be more situations that test's our marriage. But through those trials, I believe that God will only continue to use them to strengthen us. To pull us individually closer to Him yet even closer to each other as well. you see, we're learning that marriage isn't just another 'thing' that God created. But that marriage is actually a lot more personal to Him. Why? Because through marriage, we get to experience eternity. He's refining us as individuals within our marriage to learn to love one another unconditionally. A love that only He knows how to give. In marriage, we get to receive the opportunity to reflect the image of God. We also get to tap into that same love that Jesus has for us, the Church. 

"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body."
Ephesians 5:22-30

     

I know that in every marriage, its different for everyone. My prayer is that you'll never give up on one another. That you may know that when you surrender your marriage to Jesus, He will carry you towards your spouse. All you need to do is fall in love with Him. Go back to your first love who is Jesus Christ himself. I guarantee that His love will overflow through you without you having to 'try' to do anything. God's love for you

will

spill over into every other area in your life. Blessings to you as you continue to remain faithful and obedient in your marriage. 

How many years have you been married for? 

What year are you celebrating this year? 

What are some things that you've learned in your own marriage?

Who's Your Best Friend?

Roger & I have been married for 10 years now and one thing we've definitely learned is that we need friendship. 2015 was a hard year, I mean, when is life nor marriage not hard? You'll always face new challenges. I wish someone would've told us on our wedding day how important it is to stay friends in your marriage. 

I honestly don't know when we lost that important factor of our marriage, but I guess once marriage happened, it was all about figuring out how to make it through life.We stopped asking questions. Stopped getting to know each other & we began to just conform to this normality of what we thought marriage was supposed to be. A Relational Retirement. 

Last year, Roger & I literally felt like we came to a point where our marriage was going to end. Not because someone cheated or because we didn't get along. Most people I know would probably conclude & compromise at the fact that they "fell out of love" with each other. For us, it was because we didn't feel connected. Here we were, married at this point for 10 years & yet felt more distant than ever. Don't misunderstand, we love each other passionately. But at some point we stopped having conversations & fell into this autopilot setting of just going through the motions of life with no intentionality. 

It really affected us. With lots of prayers & encouragement from a close couple who knew of our struggles, we started pursing our marriage through God's eyes. We started praying for one another & for our marriage. It took time, patience, trust, & courage. Each day we stepped a little closer towards each other in our friendship. Slowly but surely, we started having more in depth conversations. It was like getting to know him all over again. Don't assume that when you get married, your spouse will remain the same person they were from the day you said "I do." 

As we grow in the years of marriage, we also mature over time. God is constantly working through us, changing & challenging us to become the best versions of ourselves to glorify Him. And so, therefore, we have to learn to embrace each others changes as well. I started to learn so many new things about him that I had never known before. And like any relationship, trust had to be nurtured into our marriage. Even though you're married to each other, the enemy knows how to pull you away from one another, influencing you to be secretive & to keep things to yourself. 

I believe that when we unite in a holy matrimony, (a marriage that is set apart from others), we ought to both know each other inside out. To see each other in a way that no other person could. To be so transparent about your life, emotions, struggles, & celebrations. The only other being that should know you so deeply would be God himself. There is something beautiful about becoming "One." In marriage, we get to experience the intertwining of 2 souls & 1 spirit. God himself blesses couples with His Holy Spirit.  Don't ever assume that marriage is only a physical life accomplishment. It's so much more than that. 

Roger & I have learned so much about what God can do through marriage. We asked God to teach us to communicate well, to be open & transparent towards each other & to know how to extend grace & to be able to love one another. He definitely answered us. Little by little, He began to reveal to us, the victory we have in our marriage. God was reigniting our love & friendship towards one another in such a new & fresh way we had never experienced before. 

"The best relationship is when you can act like lovers & bestfriends at the same time."

Don't get me wrong. Girlfriends are a must-have in every woman's life. But to have a best friend in your spouse, it has to be the most amazing & special thing God has every created! So believe me when I say that I know God has bigger plans for your marriage. He knows you desire a relationship with your spouse. If you do, then run to Him. Plead for your marriage. Cry out for your spouse. Go to God on behalf of your marriage & pour out your heart on Him. He WILL answer you. In His will & perfect timing, He will honor you for your faithfulness,not just to your husband, but your faithfulness to Him. 

Are you best friends with your spouse? 

Have you ever thought about praying for your marriage?

Know that in order for our marriages to thrive, we must make sacrifices & invest in them as best possible. 

How can I pray for you and your friendship with your spouse? 

Let me know in the comments. I'd love to pray over you. 

Have a blessed weekend!