Love Challenged?

If you ask me, love should be celebrated everyday. Do something everyday to remind the people you’ve surrounded yourself with, that you love them. This weekend my hubby and I are heading out to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. We got a cute little tiny-home Airbnb to enjoy for the weekend. If I’m being honest, Valentines isn’t really celebrated in our marriage and that’s okay. I think our annual wedding day celebration is much more rewarding! Each year it causes us to reflect on how far we’ve come in our marriage and how much we’ve grown yet remain united.

What I’ve learned this past year is that I struggle loving myself more than anything. Through multiple counseling sessions and heart-to-heart conversations, it kept surfacing. The guilt and shame that would rise up when I thought of how I could love myself better. If anything, this ‘month of love’ inspired me to do more things that show myself love. It meant not waiting around for the perfect time to draw myself a bubble bath, a much deserved one. It meant filling up my day with more things that brought back life into my existence. It meant spending un-rushed time in the Word. Allowing my body to rest by sleeping at a decent time and showing gratitude for all that it does for me by feeding it food that nourishes and keeps me feeling vibrant and fueled.

An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” -Unknown

For so long, I’ve lived out of survival mode. Giving and giving and giving to everyone and leaving myself the leftovers of my soul. For FOMO (fear of missing out) on something or to please everyone around me. I became addicted to earning love and favor by doing more and giving more and more of myself, leaving me feeling depleted and empty. I was living and serving people with wrong intentions. I thought my value and worth was amounted in what I could do for others but overtime, burnout birthed resentment. I started discovering parts of myself that were ugly and negative. I couldn’t even articulate who I was seeing in the mirror. What was my life reflecting?

I resolved to going back to doing the things that support me being the best version of myself. They say that the way we love others reflects on how we love ourselves. For so long, I believe I was loving others more than I loved myself. I’m learning that it is NOT selfish to take care of your own wellbeing first. This month, I choose to do the things that heal and nourish my soul. I’m choosing to live out of a place of love. Knowing & believing that I deserve love without doing anything first. I no longer need to earn love. Love was mine from the beginning.

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” -Christopher Germer

I created a 7 day challenge to encourage self love. If you resonate with any of this, then I want you to try checking off some of these things. It might be easier to accomplish these simple acts of self-love for some more than others. You can commit to checking off this list in the next 7 days or spread it through out the month. You decide! Happy Valentines Day!


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