What is Beauty of Barrenness?

Today I've decided to share with you the heart behind my blog.

Beauty of Barrenness

About 6 years ago, God had placed this passion on my heart. To share my story to others. My story of infertility & barrenness. I attempted to publish a few posts, but still felt so much bitterness towards my situation. Undeniably, I got consumed with trying to take it into my own hands trying to figure out how I was going to conceive. Nothing else mattered to me. Out of my mouth came words that just masked how I really felt internally.

I'd lay in bed at night questioning God.

Why?

Why me?

Why can't I have kids?

You know I LOVE kids.

Why would you let this happen to me?

In that season of my life, I had no one to turn to. Literally no one. Even Roger didn't even know how to comfort me. We were both silent in this what seemed like a never ending storm. We were silently trying to stay strong for each other. We weren't seeking God's will or comfort. We were so lost. A part of me even questioned if he would no longer love me because of my barrenness. I was a complete mess trying to hold my broken self together.

I searched for a place to belong, but found nothing. I desperately needed to be surrounded by other women who were going through the same storms. Someone, anyone, who could see right through me & embrace me during the darkest times in my life. I even had a home church yet I didn't feel like I belonged there. I didn't feel accepted as a barren woman. Every Sunday I would step into the lobby avoiding eye contact & I'd feel the weight of the eyes that were staring at me.

hope

People with good intentions, have approached me & asked me questions that just felt like they were pouring salt over my ever constant fresh wounds of emptiness. I'd always just brush it aside. I even joked about why we didn't have any kids yet. But inside, I was desperately searching for acceptance.

Can I just be accepted instead of being questioned why I don't have any kids? Can I just be accepted and not be judged for being married for so long but not having any children to prove for my marriage? Can I just be accepted & not feel like I'm walking around with a curse?

In the most desperate time of my life, I had only one soul that lifted me up as best as she could. She spoke life & encouragement back into my broken heart. She reminded me of the hope I have in Jesus Christ. She dried my tears when all I needed to do was cry my heart out. She embraced me & accepted me through my brokenness even without an explanation of what I was facing. But most importantly she repeatedly pointed me back to the Cross.

It was then, that I knew I had to find my identity in Jesus. I could've become completely bitter & absorbed by trying to find control. Or I could surrender it to God & let Him speak His love over me through the storm. I did just that. It took me a few years to learn to trust God with my complete situation. It was in the midst of this infertility storm that I experienced His comfort in a way that I've never before.

He filled my emptiness with His abounding love & reminded me daily that He was surely working everything for my good & for His glory. Even though I seemed so lost in that storm, He gave me vision to see that there were so many women out there who were also facing a similar storm as I was but without the Hope- giver: Jesus. I knew that as broken and confused as I was, the little bit-sized faith that I had in God cradled me through the storm. God began to give me a new heart & passion for women who were facing the similar battles.

I began to see it clearly. Year after year, God started placing names of women on my heart. Women who I was aware that were definitely facing a hard season of waiting. Waiting on their promises. Waiting on God. God has taught me so much through this season of waiting. He's shown me that a life in a season of waiting does not have to be dark. It can be filled with light. When I chose to let Him change my perspective, I was renewed in my spirit. God gave me a peace & joy that surpassed all my understanding.

He began to slowly reveal the Beauty of Barrenness to me. Daily, I find beauty in the season of waiting on Him. And everyday, He show's up & reminds me that all I need to do is to have complete reliance on Him & He will carry me through. I don't quite know what that means or how it looks like yet. No, God did not give me a blueprint to my future. But I'm willing to trust in His plans for my life and step forward in faith.

Beauty of Barrenness was created to embrace & encourage those who are in a season of waiting. My desire is to encourage you to hold on to Hope. To allow Jesus to minister into the very areas of your heart that resembles closely to mine. I believe that we all seek for a place to be heard, to be known, & to be accepted. You will here. If any of the above resonates with you then I encourage you to follow or subscribe. If not, I ask that you'd help pray over this vision that God has given to me. Pray that all who need administering to will find exactly what they need. Pray that God will provide the very people that needs to read or hear these words.

Photo by Thomas Smith on Unsplash

Are You in a Season of Waiting?

Good Morning, you may have found yourself in a season of waiting. Whether it be for a new job, new opportunity, a long awaited child, or the return of a loved one. Maybe not by choice nor by plan. But by God's plan. I know how hard that may be. To completely have full trust in Him. It's easier said than done. It seems impossible right? Trust me, there are days where infertility leaves me feeling so lost & confused. Thankfully the Holy Spirit works in us & around us daily. Boy oh boy, do I need His daily reminders. 

Trust in the Lord

If you find yourself in a season of complete stillness & you're having to learn to wait on the Lord, I hope some of these truths encourage you today.

 

Prayer is important.

But most times, we're so desperate for quick answers from the Lord, that our prayers become desperate demands. Often times, it even seems as if our prayers aren't being heard nor answered and this results in feeling like our faith is fading away. We have to be careful not to force God's name under our "genius" thoughts & ideas. A lot of times, we somehow think of things and assume that maybe God himself has never thought of yet. This is where our human nature kicks in. We roll on out with every possibility of a solution for our situations. But have we ever thought that maybe, just maybe, this might just be a Divine Delay? That maybe there is a purpose in our waiting? 

It doesn't take faith to help God, it takes faith to believe in His promises.

We so often think that we somehow have a say in what God is doing in our lives. We can believe in Him as much as we claim we do, but faith comes in the seasons of trials & tribulations. When you've lost all control or hope for what's to come. I mean, faith would not exist if everything went perfectly the way we wanted it to be. It's when we're at our wits end that we see God most glorified. In the midst of confusion & pain, what does it look like to believe that there is hope? We have hope. His name is Jesus. Our faith grows when we remember to cling on to His promises. Remember, its not about our performance that matters, its His promise. And if you don't know what His promises are for you in this season, then I encourage you to pray & ask God to reveal a Bible sibling that you can resonate with to help you better understand what God can also do for you. 

Remember, He is the same Yesterday, Today, & Forever!

 

Divine Plan.

This season of barrenness in any area of your life could just very well be a divine plan for you to find some time of solitude with Him. When your plans don't work out, God wants to use your disappointment as an opportunity to transform you according to His divine plan.

 He wants us to experience complete dependency on Him, away from all the noise & chaos of the world. Therefore at times, we feel like we're in a barren land. All we see is complete wilderness and at times we see it as if it were a curse of some sort. But the thought that maybe God has something beautiful planned out never crosses our mind. It is a true testing of the heart when we're in a barren land. We can never be fully prepared for where God wants to take us until we are at peace with where God has us currently. Embrace where you're at. Rest in the assurance of knowing that your God has more power than anything else you may face in the wilderness. 

"In order for you to pursue the plans that I have for you, I have to break you down to the core element and the understanding that you are nothing without me. Because my grace is sufficient & my power will be perfected in your weakness." - GOD

I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return].- Philippians 1:6

What is something you are waiting for? What are you learning in this season of waiting? I'd love to know & pray for you. 

Fashion Rev: How to Shop Like a Fashion Revolutionist

Alright! We've looked at many way to start a Fashion Revolution. Now, there is really no need to wait until you have a bigger following in social media or be of great influence. If one thing you do is share to just one other person about this movement, you have already brought awareness to your own corner of the world. You see? It doesn't take much right? And I'm not asking for much either. You can either read my posts & ignore them afterwards, but you'll no longer be the same. Why? Because you now have knowledge of what is really going on in the world. 

Today, lets look into how we can tweak our ways of purchasing & using clothes. Some ways of shopping ethically is to always be curious. Always wonder how your clothes are made, where they're made, & what exactly are you supporting? When you shop with awareness, you are shopping intentionally. Slowly but surely, lives will be freed when the need for more production & distribution slows down. 

Thrift/ Vintage Shopping

clothingexchange.co.nz

Now, you might be wondering how thrift/vintage shopping could even help this revolution. First of all, most thrift shops donate either a portion, if not all, of their sales to charity. Second, I've really grown to love thrift shopping. And if you follow or subscribe to any fashion trendsetter, you know that thrift shopping is making a comeback. And most importantly, at the speed at which we consume right now, last season's collections are in the thrift shops in a matter of months. That means you can recreate you favorite looks, personalize them, and do your bit to stop perfectly good garments from going to landfill & becoming waste. Thrift & vintage pieces are ways of recycling & bringing life back into something that was never really used at all. Why waste the time & effort that another person worked so hard for? I say, if it suits your personality & its washable, you could work it into your wardrobe without adding more harm to enslaved shop workers. Look into local thrift/vintage shops make it a goal to visit one the next time you feel the urge to get a new dress for an event. It's a chic & sustainable way to buy yet it also extends the life of beautiful clothing 

Swap 'Till You Drop

http://paperdressvintage.co.uk/

If you ever get tired of your wardrobe and are in need of a fashion fix, then you could host or arrange a clothes swapping party. Invite all your friends to bring some clothes that they've been wanting to let go of, & you might just find something new to freshen up your look without breaking the bank or becoming a victim of consumerism. You can even create a swishing party online and pick clothes virtually! It may sound cliche but there's the saying," One persons trash can very well be another person treasure."

glamradar.com/diy-t-shirt-art-ideas/

Mend, Make, & Customize

Now here is the most creative way yet to be sustainably chic. Have a plain t-shirt that needs a major 

uplift? Or what about the extra skirts that needs a makeover? From head to toe, you can basically find any tutorial or DIY how to on Youtube & Pinterest. Turn that t-shirt into a handbag. Or that skirt into pants! You'll be amazed at how much you can do to transform & revitalize your clothes. Change it up & turn it into something completely new! The upside is that no one will ever have the same exact pieces as you when you choose to recycle & refashion things to your personality. If you don't know how to sew, don't worry my friends. There are even tutorials on how to sew. Whats even better is that there are even tutorials out there that don't even require sewing. Now you can recycle, repurpose, or refashion & personalize your clothing. But if you're creative with a sewing machine, you could even make your very own clothes. Think of all the possibilities! 

I hope you are feeling empowered to be more creative in shopping & staying fashionable, but in a more ethical way. Have you done any of these things? If you have, thank you. You are making a difference whether you know it or not. If you haven't I encourage you to do so. Get together with some friends & start a revolution together. 

Tomorrow, I'll share some ways we can donate our clothes responsibly.  Thanks for reading!

 

How to Start a Fashion Revolution

I think I speak on behalf of most women, when I say that I love fashion! From head to toe. I love being able to express myself in the clothing that I creatively pick out for each day (unless I choose to stay in with leggings & a sweater). Not only that, I also love a good bargain. I love dressing chic on a small budget. This leads me to where I am now. I grew up watching my mom sew some of her own clothes & even design cultural clothing for us as well. I always admired her creativity. In my eyes, she invented the re-cycle & re-vamp clothing idea. I remember days where she would walk into her sewing room with a not-so-pleasantly looking item, & return later with a new and stylish piece! Even though it didn't fit me, I'd wishfully hope that someday I would be able to wear it.

Through the years,as I grew older, I've seen fashion move in such a speed that seems inhumane. Not only have we gone through different style phases & unending trend setters, but nothing really ever seems to last anymore. We're living in a world that is constantly moving in what seems like the speed of light. One day a style may be highlighted, and the next its old news. What have we come to?

Not only are styles constantly changing superficially fast, but even the distribution timing of our clothes has sped up extremely fast. What does this mean to us as consumers? This means that because we have become such needy & quick buyers in consumerism, constantly trying to obtain the trendiest styles of clothing. Someone, some where is paying the price. Despite there being international standards and national laws that should protect people, human rights abuses are prevalent throughout the fashion industry. In other words: Modern Day Global Slavery.

I mean, I get it, I'm guilty as well. I'm not sure how I never really opened my eyes in the past to know that forced labor, child labor, sexual harassment, discrimination, & people working in dangerous conditions had to happen in order for me to walk around with a fashion statement. But, now I know. In the words of a well know leader;

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

I can no longer sit around in silence knowing these things. How did the fashion industry deem that slavery was okay? It should NEVER be acceptable to know that slavery is happening under our watch. 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

So how do we start a 

Fashion Revolution?

We get curious. Get involved. & Create awareness.

I encourage you to look into it. You will soon realize that there's been much that has been concealed. But more & more, activists & organizations are working hard to inform, educate, & make a difference. We can make a difference TOGETHER.

Jane Goodall says,

"What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make."

First step to starting a Fashion Revolution: 

Check back this week for more tips on how to make a difference as a Fashion Revolutionist!

For more info please visit

www.fashionrevolution.org